It happens to everyone. And at some point, maybe even once, you'll do it to. Break up. Its interesting, its such a solitary and individual experience yet everyone goes through it. There are aspects of it that are uniquely yours, that cannot be understood by others, though your experience and emotions will generally follow a predestined path of heart break, dispair, desperation, rejection, and-eventual- healing.
Having recently gone through a particularly shitty break up, I became curious as to the reassuring statements all my friends offered with their "pat-pats" and "there-theres". Through bleary eyes I saw each of my pals, with knitted brows and sympathetic eyes say, "I know...I know..." This puzzled and hurt me. How could they know? How could they know the memory of a certain touch, a certain event, or a certain smell that I was desperately trying to imprint on my senses for posterity at that very moment. How the fuck did they know what that person had meant to me? They knew, cause they just did.
After a few weeks of inconsolableness I started asking questions of their break ups. Some stories were told, bottles of Jameson emptied, and bonds strengthened. Eventually I started to feel better and had incidentally acquired a small collection of anecdotal break up tales which spawned this survey: "What was the worst reason you broke up with someone, or contra, the worst reason someone broke up with you?"
There is one definite winner. L, I can honestly say: That's so fucked up. Let's go pound some martinis.
L's story:
"I believe it was the summer of 1998’. I was working as a babysitter watching a 7 year old girl.We decided to get out of the house and prowl the neighborhood streets with our razor scooters. I was actually having a pretty good time until I hit a rock and took flight. Luckily I was able to break the fall with my face. I made it back to the house and-thank god- her mother came home from work on time so I could leave crying through my mangled face."
"Back at my house I get a call from this guy Aaron that i was seeing for several weeks. We had plans to go out that night. I was explaining to him what happened to my face how bad it was. Direct quote: 'It’s cool, it can’t be that bad, come hang out.' So of course I go to meet him. Not even a half hour into our date and he's acting really weird and distracted. Meanwhile I am holding a glass full of ice to my face for the swelling and pain. We were almost done with our food when he excused himself yo the bathroom. 10-15 mins go by and I am, like, 'WHAT THE FUCK? Where is he!!!' "
"I got up looking for him, though there were no signs. Not at the bar, no where. I even got some guy to go into the mens room to see if he was still in there. It was now apparent that I had been ditched-and in the most fucked up way..vanity! OH, AND he stuck me with the bill! Fucking asshole! My hard earned cash from babysitting was wasted on a shittly Chili’s meal…........mother fucker. Still pissed about that one."
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when i was fourteen, i had a boyfriend named robbie fischer, who was
ReplyDeletesixteen. he was in a band. he was really cool. during summer vacation,
i went to the beach with my family for a week. when i came back, this
girl came up to me and was like, "are you robbie fischer's
ex-girlfriend," and i said, "umm. no. i'm still his girlfriend." then,
bitch was like, "well, he told me you weren't and we made out." when i
called him up, he told me, "you're not my girlfriend, i already broke
up with you."
so worst breakup reason - no reason at all, just a bold-face lie that
it already happened. i still fucking hate robbie fischer. yes, i was
fourteen, but robbie fischer needs to get punched in the face. i
should start a web-site that's just called `fuck robbie fischer'.