DON'T HECKLE THE DJ

So we've all been at bars and parties where the music was less than savory. Sometimes it happens where the twenty-or-so attendees line the walls rubbing their toes into floor boards and finish well cocktails, but typically it happens where there is a pocket of kids on the dance floor cuttin' it up and its apparent that you're just in the wrong place. Either way what you ought to do is settle up at the bar, and make your way out. Do NOT heckle the DJ.

This also applies to house parties. If you walk into someone's home, as an auxilary guest, keep the fuck away from the sound, especially if there's a dj. Hello?!? Bob-Ross-looking-mother-fucker walks right in, goes for the playlist, fucking cuts off the current song, and puts on "West End Girls". Yo, the Pet Shop Boys don't even want to dance to this song, ok? Its just not a dance track.

Early on, I think to myself, "Oh this night will not end well for you." Alas, as the host was having many out of town guests, I didn't want to launch into an argument right away being as Bob Ross, although a total douche bag, might have been a friend from way-back in the day. After several more confrontations usually involving a "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME" on my end and an indignent sulking away on his part, I text said-birthday boy about how someone else needs to intervene before I lay this asshole out. I am not violent unless I am drunk and since I was on DJ duty I was not drunk, but I was feeling a "JESSAE SMASH" situation coming on and was trying to, out of respect for my friend, avoid it.

A reply came:
"Do it, I fucking hate that guy."

While I wasn't at my most aggressive and was ready to finish the night dancing with my friends while a playlist carried the rest of the night Painter-Of-Happy-Little-Trees commiserated with a few people- annoyed to be cornered into conversation with him- about how this particular song was "so not a party song". The group of jumping and shouting girls on the dance floor didn't seem to convince him otherwise, so I thought maybe a full-beverage-in-the-face might.




Don't fucking heckle the DJ, you miserable white-boy fro-wearing, piece-of-shit, pussy-repelling, motherfucker.