It's all about Survival

One of those cultural, societal things that keeps all New Yorkers linked to one another (and despising one another) are daily commutes on the MTA. It's the kind of bond that soldiers have with one another. You go through this traumatic situation and the shared experience keeps you, otherwise total strangers, close.

To be honest, I only ride the subway system for a few months out of the year while it's too miserable and cold to ride bicycles. But early on in my New Yorkhood, I began developing games to help me cope/deal with the stresses of my rush hour commutes. While traveling from Brooklyn to Columbus Circle every morning and evening I birthed the concept of "Train Tetris". I would loop some of those 8-bit electronic renditions of Russian folk songs in my head while being crammed into trench coats and leather satchels on the platform and wait for the sausage casing of a train to arrive. When the doors opened and no one moved to get out, you had to be really creative on how you would somehow fit, like a puzzle piece into the solid brick of commuters. Not unlike Tetris.

These days my commute is easily under half then it was and many times much less hectic. Though on certain days, particularly rainy ones, I still get to practice puzzle placing my body parts. But if I'm not being mashed into someone's personal space or having mine horribly violated or I'm not fully engrossed in a book, awesome playlist, or 10 minutes of extra sleep I play another game. It's all about survival. It's a game I play in my head that goes a like this:

If something crazy happened like in all those movies and comic books where all of New York (and the world) was suddenly obliterated while I'm en route to Union Square and the only people left on this earth were the people in my particular train car, who would I most likely chose or be chosen by to re-populate the species?

Despite being fairly maternal, as all my friends constantly remind me, I decided at an early age that children are just not for me. Like, they kind of make me want to vom. They shriek, scream, cry, throw tantrums and I want to kick them in their soft little heads. The idea of pregnancy and childbirth makes my skin crawl, stomach turn, and blood drain. BUT if I got caught up in some Cloverfield/Watchmen/Day After Tomorrow shit, then I would obviously have no choice...And not to brag or anything, but I'm pretty damn good stock.

So maybe next time you're on the train, you can try this game too. It's not exactly fun, but it just might keep you from concentrating on that briefcase poking you in the kidney or the residual reggaeton blasting out of that chola's earbuds. Or maybe you just think I'm weird and retarded, avoid eye contact with me from now on, and shuffle out of my way. Either or, really, but if you chose the latter it at least increases my chances of scoring a seat on the L.